Today was interesting. A bit of a rollercoaster ride.
I have the day off- I'm taking a few vacation days this week because our students won't have classes. I had plans for lunch today, but they fell through... as fuck. So instead I went up to work, retrieved my iPod, bought some cigarettes and went home.
And the cigarettes fell out of my pocket during my walk.
Regardless, I went up to E-Mart for the first time and found...
Margarine.
PEPPERJACK.
Bulk meat at a cheap price.
SPRAY-ON MOTHERFUCKING STARCH.
So that put me in a good mood. I also did a small bit of Christmas shopping!
Switched some files around with Joel, then had some time to think to myself.
I realized some things about the story I've lived so far... mostly the moral behind it.
Everything you do, say, type... it represents you. Everything. And is everything you do, say and type done, said or typed in a way that you would want to represent you? Think about your standards. Do you meet them? Be honest. Pick yourself apart. If a part of you doesn't meet those standards, then tear it up and start again. Do you want something that seems terribly out of reach? Become the person who deserves it. Don't wait for the final judgment... it happens every day. Do not hesitate. Do not second guess. But do treat your effort as a resource- though it may be intangible, it is valuable. Prioritize. Have a contingency plan together for when the time comes. Focus inward and you'll find that, in doing so, you've exerted pressure outward.
Okay. Going to work on tracks now.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Change, etc.
So.
The ranks are changing.
A lot of things are changing.
Winter's finally coming into full swing.
It's been warm for the past few days but there's no telling when the first snow will drop. I can feel it. It'll be soon.
As per usual, some of the seasonal effects have kicked in. It's not a big deal.
The ranks, they're changing.
People leaving, new people arriving.
And it feels like it took me a little while to settle into the crew that I came into.
Now that things are changing, I feel as though I have to do it all over again.
I'm not sure if I have it in me. I don't know. It's strange.
I don't know that I'm compatible with the new crew to the extent that I was with the old crew.
Maybe I'm just overanalyzing.
At the same time, I feel like I've been crankier recently.
Not in any seriousness, of course, because even when I'm serious I'm not really taken seriously. Not that I'm bitter, but I'm kind of bitter. Ahhhh, who knows- this may all be the aftereffects of the soju I had tonight at galbi.
It's not that I don't like the new crew. They're cool. Hell, they're even great. Great people, I like them a lot from what I've seen so far. I just worry that I won't be found as likable.
It's stupid, petty shit to consider in light of the fact that I'm six thousand miles from home but, in some way, I've already started to think of my apartment as home. And of Korea as a new home, despite the fact that I still have little knowledge of how to navigate Incheon's streets. Whatevs, though... it feels like home, at least to some extent. It's just weird to think that the remainder of my time here has been changed drastically by recent events. What could happen? Anything. That's usually liberating, but... I don't know. It doesn't feel liberating right about now.
I feel like it's a sign that I need to focus my efforts inward- I truly need to let that which does not truly matter slide and, for once, really focus on myself. Focus on improving my production techniques... take a risk and try producing in Ableton, maybe. I don't know. No idea at all.
There's a bit of baggage I'm carrying with me at the present but I'm trying to keep tight-lipped about it because I don't want to be reminded of it all the time, but it's kind of hard. My brain works overtime to spite me sometimes.
This is essentially just a long-winded, structureless ramble heavily influenced by alcohol and observation. Yeah. I'm signing off for now and maybe hopefully getting some sleep soon, considering the fact that it's five in the Gods damned morning.
Okay.
-토마스
The ranks are changing.
A lot of things are changing.
Winter's finally coming into full swing.
It's been warm for the past few days but there's no telling when the first snow will drop. I can feel it. It'll be soon.
As per usual, some of the seasonal effects have kicked in. It's not a big deal.
The ranks, they're changing.
People leaving, new people arriving.
And it feels like it took me a little while to settle into the crew that I came into.
Now that things are changing, I feel as though I have to do it all over again.
I'm not sure if I have it in me. I don't know. It's strange.
I don't know that I'm compatible with the new crew to the extent that I was with the old crew.
Maybe I'm just overanalyzing.
At the same time, I feel like I've been crankier recently.
Not in any seriousness, of course, because even when I'm serious I'm not really taken seriously. Not that I'm bitter, but I'm kind of bitter. Ahhhh, who knows- this may all be the aftereffects of the soju I had tonight at galbi.
It's not that I don't like the new crew. They're cool. Hell, they're even great. Great people, I like them a lot from what I've seen so far. I just worry that I won't be found as likable.
It's stupid, petty shit to consider in light of the fact that I'm six thousand miles from home but, in some way, I've already started to think of my apartment as home. And of Korea as a new home, despite the fact that I still have little knowledge of how to navigate Incheon's streets. Whatevs, though... it feels like home, at least to some extent. It's just weird to think that the remainder of my time here has been changed drastically by recent events. What could happen? Anything. That's usually liberating, but... I don't know. It doesn't feel liberating right about now.
I feel like it's a sign that I need to focus my efforts inward- I truly need to let that which does not truly matter slide and, for once, really focus on myself. Focus on improving my production techniques... take a risk and try producing in Ableton, maybe. I don't know. No idea at all.
There's a bit of baggage I'm carrying with me at the present but I'm trying to keep tight-lipped about it because I don't want to be reminded of it all the time, but it's kind of hard. My brain works overtime to spite me sometimes.
This is essentially just a long-winded, structureless ramble heavily influenced by alcohol and observation. Yeah. I'm signing off for now and maybe hopefully getting some sleep soon, considering the fact that it's five in the Gods damned morning.
Okay.
-토마스
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