Monday, November 30, 2009

Revelations Arrive on a Foggy Day in Incheon.

Today was interesting. A bit of a rollercoaster ride.
I have the day off- I'm taking a few vacation days this week because our students won't have classes. I had plans for lunch today, but they fell through... as fuck. So instead I went up to work, retrieved my iPod, bought some cigarettes and went home.

And the cigarettes fell out of my pocket during my walk.

Regardless, I went up to E-Mart for the first time and found...
Margarine.
PEPPERJACK.
Bulk meat at a cheap price.
SPRAY-ON MOTHERFUCKING STARCH.

So that put me in a good mood. I also did a small bit of Christmas shopping!

Switched some files around with Joel, then had some time to think to myself.

I realized some things about the story I've lived so far... mostly the moral behind it.

Everything you do, say, type... it represents you. Everything. And is everything you do, say and type done, said or typed in a way that you would want to represent you? Think about your standards. Do you meet them? Be honest. Pick yourself apart. If a part of you doesn't meet those standards, then tear it up and start again. Do you want something that seems terribly out of reach? Become the person who deserves it. Don't wait for the final judgment... it happens every day. Do not hesitate. Do not second guess. But do treat your effort as a resource- though it may be intangible, it is valuable. Prioritize. Have a contingency plan together for when the time comes. Focus inward and you'll find that, in doing so, you've exerted pressure outward.

Okay. Going to work on tracks now.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Change, etc.

So.
The ranks are changing.
A lot of things are changing.
Winter's finally coming into full swing.
It's been warm for the past few days but there's no telling when the first snow will drop. I can feel it. It'll be soon.
As per usual, some of the seasonal effects have kicked in. It's not a big deal.

The ranks, they're changing.
People leaving, new people arriving.
And it feels like it took me a little while to settle into the crew that I came into.
Now that things are changing, I feel as though I have to do it all over again.
I'm not sure if I have it in me. I don't know. It's strange.
I don't know that I'm compatible with the new crew to the extent that I was with the old crew.
Maybe I'm just overanalyzing.
At the same time, I feel like I've been crankier recently.
Not in any seriousness, of course, because even when I'm serious I'm not really taken seriously. Not that I'm bitter, but I'm kind of bitter. Ahhhh, who knows- this may all be the aftereffects of the soju I had tonight at galbi.
It's not that I don't like the new crew. They're cool. Hell, they're even great. Great people, I like them a lot from what I've seen so far. I just worry that I won't be found as likable.

It's stupid, petty shit to consider in light of the fact that I'm six thousand miles from home but, in some way, I've already started to think of my apartment as home. And of Korea as a new home, despite the fact that I still have little knowledge of how to navigate Incheon's streets. Whatevs, though... it feels like home, at least to some extent. It's just weird to think that the remainder of my time here has been changed drastically by recent events. What could happen? Anything. That's usually liberating, but... I don't know. It doesn't feel liberating right about now.

I feel like it's a sign that I need to focus my efforts inward- I truly need to let that which does not truly matter slide and, for once, really focus on myself. Focus on improving my production techniques... take a risk and try producing in Ableton, maybe. I don't know. No idea at all.

There's a bit of baggage I'm carrying with me at the present but I'm trying to keep tight-lipped about it because I don't want to be reminded of it all the time, but it's kind of hard. My brain works overtime to spite me sometimes.

This is essentially just a long-winded, structureless ramble heavily influenced by alcohol and observation. Yeah. I'm signing off for now and maybe hopefully getting some sleep soon, considering the fact that it's five in the Gods damned morning.

Okay.

-토마스

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Hey, you lot.
It's been a while, but I'm back at PC Ghost.
Not out of necessity, though.

A lot has changed.
I have a new co-worker living in the Hambaek, so I'm showing him around.
He doesn't have internet yet, so we're at PC Ghost.
Wanted to show him around, show him how things here work.

Went to Itaewon today.
Evan and Wes helped me drop 80 fliers on the area.
Evan was posting them wherever he could, often times in rather creative places (there was graffiti reading 'boned your mom,' so Evan put one in the middle of the O in 'mom.') He also put them over fliers for other things.
Wes was handing them to people he thought might appreciate my music and gave them a quick rundown of what was happening.
We saw the venue, but we went relatively early so we didn't end up going inside. Most unfortunately. Regardless, I think it'll be pretty solid for my gig.

Speaking of which, I'm getting more and more excited for my first show in Seoul. I can already say with certainty that it won't be my last, though- my crew has a lot of interesting and pragmatic ideas for promotion, so I'm sure I'll get my foot in the door somewhere at some point. I've also been playing my music for a lot of different people to get opinions on which tracks are the best, etc. It's good times. Once I sink a few hundred thousand won into a good Logitech 2.1 speaker setup, I'll be cranking some sick shit out. This is a promise.

In other news, well, there really is no other news. Nothing really mindbending is happening here, to be honest. I mean, I live in a pretty neat part of Korea, but it could be busier and more interesting. Not complaining, though... not at all.

Money's been going a bit more quickly than I'd hoped- I had to pull some money out of my account from home today, unfortunately, because I still have until Nov 5th before I get paid again and, lo and behold, I ran out. It's crazy because I haven't even been going out, getting crunk and being a moron... Hell, I've been walking to work. I'm not sure where the money's gone, but that's the problem with money. On top of that, I pulled in significantly less this month because I didn't have overtime, etc.. I guess my first water bill payment came out, some other stuff. It doesn't much matter, though. I'll be okay. I just didn't want to dip into my savings this early in the game... though I'm sure I'll be able to more than make up for it in the future.

School has been a mix of good and bad. I had to kick a student out of the classroom yesterday for bringing a bunch of paper pouches from the water cooler to class. See, that sounds pretty innocent, but the students somehow find a way to blow air in them and pop them. Which, naturally, does not fly in Thomas Teacher's classes. They've done it before, I asked the Korean teacher to detentionerize them (which may or may not have happened), and they continued to bring the pouches to class. So I'm kicking them out for it. It's a last resort, but it has to happen. On the flipside, I had some extra time with one particular class (who is on a different schedule because of some circumstances) so I threw together a vocabulary review day involving an epic as Hell game of castle-conquering. Oddly enough, the girls in the class loved it to death. I tried to adapt it to a baseball game for a class of eighteen, but.. that's the class with the water pouch addiction. I couldn't get them to quiet down for long enough to start the game. It was a sad day.

What else... I tried to get some input from my students. I want to know what they like about my classes, what they don't like, what can be better, etc... the results were mostly predictable (boring, ditch the book, nothing is good about your class, etc) but I had a few that really stood out. Along the lines of 'Thomas Teacher is getting better but it is not finished yet. He shows us many fantastic picture.' Though nothing really trumps 'you need to smile more because if you smile we know you are not angry.' The adorable factor from that comment... oh man. So I've been trying to smile more, trying to be more of a goofball with my students... it makes them happy, it makes me happy.. it's good times.

I think I wasn't smiling in classes before because, well, I have a sneaking suspicion that one of my big problems is that I've lost a good deal of passion for life. I'm not depressed or anything, I'm just trying to self-analyze. I remember when things would make me jump out of my skin with excitement; not much does it these days though, I'm afraid. Not much has done it for a while. I've been a bit of a shell of a Thom, chasing skirts around because should something actually happen, well, that'd be a thrill of sorts. I don't know. Even in Korea, I've kind of being doing the same old shit... letting my relations with women dictate my mood.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

I think I'm starting to get better about it, though, albeit rather slowly. I think I started to get better at it three sentences ago, actually. I need to remember that it's not the end-all, be-all... but considering how I spent my time in middle school and high school, I think it can be chalked up to a case of 'wanting what you never really had,' the thing in question being game. Though I might've had a bit of that in the past. Whatever, doesn't matter now- it can't be my first priority because it can't be my first priority. Other things matter more.

Other things like getting a studio together, getting my life started, all of that noise. My life isn't going to get started unless I start it; it's just a shame I didn't realize that until it seemed like it was too late. Though I doubt any other circumstance would've done it.

What else... Joel is in Malaysia this weekend for a wedding. He's bringing a carton of cloves back for me. I don't know what brand they'll be or if I'll even like them, but it's times like now that I can't help but say 'EAT IT, AMERICA, I WILL SOON HAVE WHAT YOU CONSIDER CONTRABAND THESE DAYS.'


And that's what I have. Also, I realized that I'd been spelling my name incorrectly in Korean- the letters I'd been using would be pronounced 'Toh-maht.' Not quite there.

-토마스
(Toh-mah-suh)

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Three Month Mark...

As of this coming Tuesday, October 20th, I will have been in Korea for three months.
Everyone says that time flies when you're overseas- it's true, but I do understand that this is just the beginning. Everyone also says that culture shock sets in around the three month mark, which may or may not be true. I've felt some uneasiness about being here, missing home and all of that, but... I think my experience may be somewhat unique. Somewhat. I don't know.

Yesterday night was a going-away shindig for one of my co-workers; a casualty to the stress of everything. Things are still rough at work... but it's all coming to a close, hopefully sooner than later. Anyway, we went up to Touchdown for drinks, pool, darts and witty banter. A lot of the Korean teachers came as well, which was nice because I don't ever really see them outside of work and our relationship seems to be mostly professional, so. It was definitely interesting, especially when they took us to...

DRINK BOOZE FROM BOWLS. Touchdown is primarily a foreigner bar. Granted, some Koreans go there quite often, but it definitely has a foreigner atmosphere. So the Korean teachers took us to a different place which serves rice alcohol in teapots, to be poured into small tin bowls for the sipping. There was soju and many, many a drinking game... followed by much ridiculous behavior that will make me see the teachers in a different light on Monday. It's that feeling when you have your first night out with co-workers.. you realize that they're quite different outside of the office and, maybe, not as different from you as you thought.

All of this talk about going home from my co-worker really made me miss home.. he showed me videos of himself and his friends back home, told me about his future plans.. and yeah, I missed home. A lot. Last night kind of solidified my belief that this is where I'm supposed to be right now, though; the two of us are pretty much polar opposites at face value but, again, in the end, we aren't so different. I just thought we were because I was taking things at face value.

Yesterday afternoon consisted mostly of preparing my set for Halloween. I'm at about the halfway point right now, but it did involve stemming out a remix that was done half in Ableton and half in Reason. It's already a pain in the ass stemming stuff out from Reason, and adding Ableton to the mix just made it more complicated... but I digress.

So, being two days removed from the three month mark, I can say that I've grown quite a bit: I can eat and enjoy spicy foods, though my tolerance still needs some work; my alcohol tolerance is going up so I won't have as many problems that come with being a lightweight in the future; I'm becoming more financially disciplined, insisting on saving the majority of my salary every month; I'm becoming more disciplined overall, forming a strong sense of duty; I'm becoming more socially adequate, able to assert myself when need be. The only thing I can see that I really need to work on at this point is state of mind and emotional maturity; I tend to let small things get me down for a while, and that needs to change because life never stops throwing punches... if you let the jabs bother you, then you're in trouble.

I'm one quarter of the way through with my contract (despite much adversity) and I'm still going strong. I don't expect the 'going strong' part to change anytime soon.

Be well, friends and family.
-Thomas

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Rule #1 - No Dying

So, blog... it's been a while since I rapped at ya.
Life here has been a bit overwhelming at times.
Our office situation is tense, but that's all I'll say about it.
Weekends have consisted of drinking and dancing to get my mind off of it, for the most part.

Last weekend was pretty kick ass, though- went to Yongsan to assist with some headphone shopping (it was fun although we didn't find any headphones), played my second game of Settlers here (I'm 2-0 so far), and did some pretty good work on a new (legitimately) electro/fidget-house track. So I've been pretty productive, and it's a good thing.

My students are warming up to me. This week, the students have exams at public school. It's exhausting. They spent all last week at my school preparing for them, so I didn't have classes. Since the students are busy with their exams, the majority of them aren't coming to my school. This makes for smaller (and more manageable) classes of exhausted students. This sounds worse than it is- I've been able to get them to participate despite their situation, and I've even had a few students do special assignments and tell me that they came to my school even though they didn't have to because they want to study English. This brings a smile to my face.

I finally got my student survey scores from Summer semester, and they were terrible... so I'm trying to adapt my strategy to the students a bit more, to do things they'll enjoy.. to do things that will make them dread coming to my school less. I remember what it was like to be in middle school, and I can only imagine how much I would've hated going to a private school afterward.

Seriously, Korean students might be the hardest working students on Earth. This weekend is Chuseok, the Korean equivalent of Thanksgiving.. so I've asked students what they're doing for Chuseok. The majority have replied "Private school. Study. Go home. Sleep." It's kind of soul-crushing, honestly, that my students are being put through the wringer like that... it's a bloody holiday! Come on! Granted, Thanksgiving in 2006 and 2007 wasn't exactly a cakewalk for me... but these kids are 14 and 15. My situation was far more grave than they should have to deal with, and it was far different. I say give them their holiday... poor kids.

All in all, though, the students seem to be enjoying my classes a lot more. I blame Joel; he's taught me a few things about keeping students in line without making them hate me, and keeping students interested in the lesson.

Outside of school, I'm meeting quite a few new people and things are going pretty well. School takes up a lot of time, though, so 'outside of school' doesn't happen so much. I have tomorrow off for Chuseok, though, so that's a good thing.

Cashed in my coins today- had a staggering 44,000 Won in coins. They build up fast, especially when you don't use them intelligently. It's hard to use coins intelligently here because I'm still so used to American coins... furthermore, I'm used to using my debit card for everything back home. It doesn't really happen that much here. A lot of places don't accept cards and, if they do, it almost seems crass to use your card for a small purchase. I don't know why, it just does. If I'm going grocery shopping or something, sure, I'll bust my card out... but otherwise, no. I have to spend at least 20,000 Won to be okay with using my card and, honestly, that doesn't happen much.

I've been dreaming of buying an Akai APC40 (http://www.ableton.com/touch) when I get back home.

Oh! Also! There's a good chance that I'll be playing at Itaewon's Hae Bang Chon festival on Halloween. It's an all-day kind of thing that spans over a number of bar venues, which should be a lot of fun. I'm way excited. It reminds me, though, that I should put together a demo for a few of the clubs I've been to like Club FF (Hongdae) and Club Volume (Incheon)... I want to play more, damn it!

It's 2:00p- this means I should probably shower and get ready to go.

I promise, guys, that I'll keep you more updated in the future. You deserve better.

-Thom

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Everything is Meaningless Without Music.

..thank God there's plenty of it here.

The bar that I frequent with co-workers, Touchdown, has a massive list of tracks to play on their jukebox. Everything from Portishead - Wandering Star to Wu-Tang - Gravel Pit to Lupe Fiasco - Gold Watch to DJ Shadow - Six Days (Soulwax remix).

Yesterday was payday. I celebrated by spending 16,000W (approximately $12.80 USD) on an awesome, awesome night. I went to downtown Incheon last night for the grand opening of Club Volume. The second to last DJ threw down some serious tracks including Fake Blood - Blood Splashing, Justice - DVNO (remix), MSTRKRFT - Bounce (remix), Ting Tings - Shut Up and Let Me Go (remix), Gossip - Standing In The Way of Control (Soulwax remix), etc etc etc... makes me wonder if I couldn't score a DJ/live PA gig somewhere around here. Guess it's a matter of experiencing the nightlife and getting to know the right people. Speaking of, I need to get some business cards together.

My music production has stalled a bit... my speakers are shit for it, and I simply don't have the time most days. I get sick beats/basslines stuck in my head at work, for all the good it does me, but I can't get a groove going when I'm home. It's okay, I'll get my groove back.

Back to payday- I'm really excited to have pulled in my first check... not because I'm going to spend it anytime soon, but because it's the first step to accomplishing the task at hand. The task, naturally, being to save up more money than I've ever had at one given time, come back home, ???, profit.

The ??? will either be starting up a studio or getting a record together. As I've meditated on it, though, these two things are not mutually exclusive. It would take a bit more money to do both, so we'll see how I feel about this place in a year. If I'm good here, I'll more than likely stay for another year and keep moving forward with my plan. I'm starting to see the benefits of a purpose-driven lifestyle already, though there are more purposes I'd like to add to this one.


Work has been okay. There's some tension and conflict going on. I just want it to end, honestly. I can tell that it's taking its toll on everyone.. I can just feel it. So I'm trying to do what I can to keep everyone's spirits up, but it's not exactly the easiest thing to do. I've spent most of my life being the negative one, but I'm starting to understand that it doesn't do anyone any good. It's okay to be a bit cynical and jaded, but ultimately I've adopted a new policy of positivity in all things. It's a lot more constructive, I think, to keep your head held high in even the worst of situations... because, at some point, they expire. Like everything does.


Things are starting to liven up a bit here in the ol' personal life. I'm doing more things more often, and it's been a little taxing to not have much downtime... but it's a nice kind of taxing. I slept for ten hours today, waking up at 4:00p... so I think I've had all the rest I need to keep it going keep it going keep it going full steam for the rest of the weekend. Although I think Sunday will be a rest day as well, at least to an extent- have a few cleaning things to do around the house, but the rest of that time can go into music, watching movies, lounging around, studying Korean, whatever I want.

Anyway, I'm off to Hongdae in about 45 minutes to party some more. Seems I didn't learn my lesson from staying up and out until about 6:30a... but it's really okay. All I do is party, ha ha ha ha.

Until next time,
-Thom

Monday, August 24, 2009

Sometimes You Learn By Losing.

So I had my second slew of Saturday students.
And by slew, I mean six.
Two of my classes no-showed entirely, so now I'm not getting paid overtime for those four hours.
That's a decent bit of money, but it's not too much.
And now I've learned exactly where they stand.
The solution? Never work on Saturday ever again.
I don't have to, and if they're going to decide that they don't want to pay me when ridiculous things happen (such as zero of fifty-four students showing up), then, well, that doesn't give me much incentive to do it now, does it?

That's not all that I've learned, though.

Never heard back from Julie even though I sent her a few texts here and there when I was in her neighborhood. It probably has something to do with the awkwardness of our conversation on Sunday. That's fine, it doesn't really bother me. But it's nice to know that, in the future, it's probably best to ask for a number in a context other than 'I'm leaving but I want your number'. On top of that, it's best to be less awkward during the first actual conversation you have with someone. So I've deleted her number. I'm really just happy that I was able to walk up to a complete stranger, ask her for her number, and end up getting it. That's enough for me. Now it's time to learn how to be less fucking weird.

I'm pretty sure my students from last semester were pretty annoyed with me. Let's see... I rushed through units, asked them to come in on Saturdays, and was totally authoritarian with them. I did everything that the worst of my teachers did. I didn't really have much of a choice, but could my students have possibly known that? Nah. I've learned from that too, though- my students have usually had about eight hours of public school before coming to my school, and then they have other schools they go to, etc etc etc. I heard about one student who had five private schools to attend outside of public school and had legitimately attempted suicide by the age of eleven- some of these kids have serious issues at this point in their lives because of the academic stress, it seems, so it really helps to try to level with them. At the same time, though, you have to get through the book- it's a delicate balance, it is. Today was the first day of the Fall semester, and it seems to have gone pretty well. Some students still acted out a bit, but they were awesome for the most part.

Y is Style are cigarettes for women. They're like Korean Capris. Aaaaand there goes 25,000 Won.

X-Tune speakers aren't very good. You can't hear sub-bass through them. There goes 30,000 Won.

The Eye-Fi hotspot feature only works in the States. Furthermore, the card only works with wireless networks. There goes some more money.

I'm covered in mosquito bites because I haven't been looking for the corpses of mosquitoes I thought I'd slain.


The list goes on and on, but I'm learning from it.
That's the important part.

Not much else to report. Putting new pictures up right now, though!

As always, be well.
-토맛